When I first wrote about The Bad Side Project, she was one of the first people to say she wanted to participate, an example of that bravery I already mentioned. Since we already had plans to have lunch that week, it made things easier, but it also meant Kyle had about 48 hours to prepare herself mentally for being photographed.

As photographers, we are hyper-critical of the way things look in photographs. We spend much of our day trying to think about what it is our subjects might not like about themselves, and how we can minimize that and make them feel beautiful. Sometimes it’s an obvious thing, like the stress pimple in the middle of their forehead brought on by a week of late nights tying bows around wedding favors. It’s gone in under a second of post processing in lightroom. But sometimes, our subjects have insecurities about themselves that we just can’t see, no matter how we try. I know the truth of this personally. When I first posted about The Bad Side Project, so much of the reaction I got was “You’re crazy, you’re beautiful from all your sides.” Sure, that’s nice to hear, but it doesn’t stop me from seeing my deep set right eye or my off center smile or my crooked nose. I struggle with how I feel about this phenomenon. When Kyle first told me she didn’t like the way she looked in most photographs, I had to stop myself from that initial reaction of “You’re crazy, you’re beautiful from all your sides.” Instead, I think it’s important to acknowledge that while other’s insecurities may not hold water for us personally, that person has been carrying them around with them most of their life, and they’re heavy. Yes, my right eye is deeper set than my left, and yes, my smile is off center, and yes, my nose is crooked, but I’m starting to accept that those flaws don’t make me ugly. It’s part of what makes me beautiful in the eyes of others.

This project isn’t about shooting to erase the flaws we see in ourselves. It’s about trying to celebrate those flaws, and to reframe the way we see them: not as a detriment, but as part of what makes us beautiful. It’s about trying to forget the muscle memory of years of only putting our “good” side toward the camera. It’s about trying to let go. Sure, you may see those flaws for the rest of your life, but hopefully these sessions help people to start to see those flaws as others do, as part of what makes your beautiful.

It’s funny, before photography found me, I was bound for a career in therapy. At one point, during our session, Kyle looked at me and said “This is like therapy.” I guess, in the end, I’ve found a way to do both.

No, I do not normally dress this glamorously for a session, but I took my turn in front of Kyle’s camera that day as well. What’s fair is fair.

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I’ve spent my whole life avoiding and obscuring my bad side. If I’m at a gathering and a camera comes out, I surreptitiously position myself so that my left side faces the camera, with my chin slightly down and to the right. I never face the camera straight on, and never from the right, if I can help it. I’ve done this my entire adult life. A quick glance at years of photographs of me on facebook will back me up.

This last week, I was at a gathering of over 200 photographers. Anywhere and everywhere I looked, a camera was being pointed in my direction. I could maneuver myself to be on the good side of one camera, only to place all my flaws in the limelight of another. Photo, after photo, after photo, taken of me from my bad side. I would look at the LCD screen on my friends’ camera and my eye would immediately be drawn to the bump in my nose, or my one snaggle tooth, or my chicken pock scar, or my asymmetrical smile, or my deep set eye. My friends, however, would look at the image and immediately say how beautiful I looked. That I don’t have a bad side. That it’s in my head.

So many of us are programmed to hate ourselves from such a young age, and despite my happy go lucky demeanor, I’m not immune. I can’t take a compliment without deflecting it. You like my hair? Well, it’s not my natural color. I look pretty today? The new foundation I bought works miracles. I look thin? It’s the cut of the dress. That’s a nice photo of me? Well, that’s thanks to the light, or the shallow depth of field, or the composition, or a testament to the photographer’s talent. I can probably count the number of times someone has complimented me and I’ve just said a simple “Thank you” on one hand. I beat myself up about my appearance every day, and that’s just one of the many ways I’m not as nice to myself as I should be.

The bad side project is my attempt to start seeing what other people see in me, in myself, and to help other women do the same. We all have hang ups about ourselves that most people would never notice. It’ll be a series of portraits taken exclusively from the “bad” sides. Do you think have a bad side? I want to hear about it, and I want to take a photograph of you from it: a photograph of you that, when you look at it, makes you feel beautiful, makes you realize that it’s all been in your head. If you’re interested in participating, email me a heather@heatherjowett.com

Here’s to getting to a point where I can be at peace with all my sides.

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Tiffany and Jim were married at St. Mary’s Student Parish with a reception at the beautiful Michigan league ballroom. We stopped by some icons of Ann Arbor for photos, and even go kicked of Mary Sue Coleman’s lawn by campus security. He was kind enough to give us 30 seconds to snap a few shots first.

Enjoy.

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Each album is custom designed to best showcase your photos. These albums lay flat when opened, and are printed on thick pages that are resistant to tearing or dog-earing. Wedding albums measure 10 inches square. Parent albums measure 6 inches square. A variety of cover options allows you to customize a look that fits you, and your wedding.

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All of these photos, with the exception of the last two of me, were taken with that camera, on film. I’ve officially stepped into Analog. I’ll probably be bringing this camera along with me to some weddings this year, and slowly adding more film into my work.

These last two, of me, were taken and developed by my husband. Here’s to hoping this is the beginning of something wonderful.

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Here’s to a renaissance in Detroit, and here’s to Vanessa and Andrew.

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